Sunday, 29 November 2015

Where does it hurt? Do tell



If I would be the "one" who would have been raped brutally &
thrown off on a street, lying with my body ripped apart & not a
single bystander to help me... If I would be the one who would
be battling to hold on to life through multiple surgeries & organ
failures while the media made a moolah by turning me into a
"breaking news"... If I would be the one who would be flown
off to die in a foreign shore only to pacify the unrest & anger...
I WOULD NOT REST IN PEACE...
I would come back to haunt the perpetrators, the spineless
system that fails to protect the less powerful, the people who
are still go on debating on what should be the punishment for
such a heinous act, the mourners who would move on to
celebrate the coming of new year only to get rid of a bad
year... I would haunt, trouble & give each one of you sleepless
nights till your conscience is not rattled enough to find
answers to the black spot called "rape" & make way where one
doesn't have to go out to "reclaim the night"...
NO, I WOULD NOT REST IN PEACE !

If Jesus were alive today, would we call him a “punk” or “soft” for expressing unconditional love? 
If Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi were alive today, would we chastise them for advocating love and renouncing violence? 
Ironically, we celebrate the lives of these powerful men but choose to castrate those who attempt to walk in their footsteps. We can create a stronger community for our families if all men choose to embrace our feminine traits along with our masculine ones. When this happens, positive competition transforms into a desire to be better and more complete humans being for the sake of the entire group instead of for self-gain. The expression of emotional pain becomes acknowledged and nurtured instead of ridiculed. An expression of love starts to be recognized as strength instead of weakness.
If we want a better world with better relationships, we first have to work toward being better, and more complete, individuals.
Omission of some elements make huge difference, when removed at right time!!Politicians removed from a country and religion removed from humans will solve most of the problems. Maybe! Particularly India!


#Satyam_ Bruyat

Friday, 27 November 2015

The “macho man” stigma is getting old!

Growing up in the city, I quickly learned how male vulnerability leads to questions about your manhood. There was constant pressure to prove you were “tough enough.” 
Many of my classmates would act out of character to create a tougher image of themselves. No one wanted to risk being characterized as “soft” or a “punk.” 

I was lucky to have a strong father who taught me the importance of standing up for myself.  

He showed me that love was part of the definition of manhood. It was obvious that most of the kids I knew did not have this kind of male role model in their lives. I was lucky. 

Patriarchy aims to suppress (both consciously and unconsciously) feminine “energy” in both women and men, creating generations of men that equate expressing love and pain as signs of weakness. Stereotypical masculinity is the most obvious gender performance for men, which means many men suppress their feminine side, including qualities such as compassion, cooperation, emotional honesty, and creativity. 

Emotional suppression warps who men truly are as boyfriends, husbands, fathers, and sons. 

Male peer pressure creates boys who hold back emotions to protect themselves from being judged. Eventually, the accumulating emotional pain reaches a boiling point, overflows and ultimately manifests itself in the form of violence. This violence is encouraged by many people as the best way to resolve problems.
 Many boys do not learn emotional intelligence skills early on. Instead, they’re encouraged to “man up” to defend a particular type of masculinity, which fuels their aggression. 

This common dysfunction bleeds into men’s relationships with women. 

Whereas many women want to connect with men on a deeper emotional level, the process is strained when a man lacks the experience of embracing his emotions and expressing himself. This denial of self-expression leads many men to live their lives in an emotional coma. 
So how do men break this vicious cycle of emotional disequilibrium and violence? In the context of both culture and relationships, the key is for all of us (men and women) to take on the responsibility of redefining manhood.
 We should no longer allow the media to define it for us. 


Women can help men wake up from this emotional coma in these 3 ways:


 1. Stop supporting and looking for machismo and violence in a man. 
2. Stop labeling men who express pain or who ask for help as weak. 
3. Choose to nurture a man with an open heart and support his goals of becoming a complete human being.

 Men can assist each other to break the emotional coma cycle in these 4 ways: 

1. Stop ridiculing other men for expressing their emotion, compassion and pain. Instead, support complex masculinity. 
2. Stop equating manhood to violence.
 3. Choose to be completely open with women by being fully present and emotionally available. 
4. Support and encourage creativity in men.

 If Jesus were alive today, would we call him a “punk” or “soft” for expressing unconditional love? 

 If Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi were alive today, would we chastise them for advocating love and renouncing violence?

 Ironically, we celebrate the lives of these powerful men but choose to castrate those who attempt to walk in their footsteps. 

We can create a stronger community for our families if all men choose to embrace our feminine traits along with our masculine ones. When this happens, positive competition transforms into a desire to be better and more complete humans being for the sake of the entire group instead of for self-gain. 
The expression of emotional pain becomes acknowledged and nurtured instead of ridiculed. An expression of love starts to be recognized as strength instead of weakness. 

If we want a better world with better relationships, we first have to work toward being better, and more complete, individuals.

#Satyam_Bruyat


Tuesday, 24 November 2015

The capital city: Delhi


On my recent visit to  Delhi I met some of the very common people.
Being the capital city of the country, it lives up to its name.
On one side where we have Connaught place, a well known place. On the other side we also have places where people strive for a meager meal of two times a day.

You must be wondering who this lady is and what this post is all about!
Met this lady near India gate selling corns and thought of inquiring about her.

She's from Bengal and was married off at a small age and came to Delhi and has been working since then around Delhi.

What touched me from inside was "people come from all sorts of places to see India gate and then there are people for whom it doesn't matter whether its there or not".

Each time 25 year old Salma takes her one year old son Zubair to the Batla Clinic (a private clinic in Delhi) for a shot of the DPT, the cost of transportation and the vaccine adds up to approximately Rs.500.

When it is time for Zubair to take the next immunization dose, Salma may find that the expenses have entirely spiraled out of her reach.

New vaccines and expensive brands of baby foods and tonics are flooding the market. Three shots of the Pneumococcle cost Rs.12, 000; a dose of the Diarrohea Rota Virus comes for Rs.2000; the polio injectible (IPV) comes for approximately Rs.2000.

“We end up spending approximately Rs.20,000 on vaccinating one child alone. These expenses are not covered under any insurance scheme. My husband earns a decent sum, but we find it difficult to meet the rising medical expenses.” Said Shweta Jha, mother of two, who owns a three bedroom house in an up-market locality in Delhi’s outskirts in Noida.

For Salma, spending Rs.500 (for a shot of the DPT) is hugely prohibitive. She shells out a monthly Rs.1000 rent for a damp and un-ventilated one room house crammed in between the narrow and foul smelling streets of Madanpur Khadar wher– in the absence of civic or sewerage facilities – mosquitoes breed in cesspools and mountains of garbage are stacked up everywhere. A foamy yellow liquid spurts out of the municipality taps – which is used up in the toilets and for washing clothes.

Like many of her neighbours, Salma spends Rs.12 to buy a 20 liter can of water filled from the nearby tube-wells for cooking and drinking purposes. “We spend approximately Rs.3,000 each month on medical expenses. My husband Zakir Hussain works as a clerk in a private bank (the family’s only bread earner) and brings home a monthly salary of just Rs.7,000 in all”, said Salma.


Rich versus poor divide 
Like several resettlement colonies of the poor, Madanpur Khadar – sandwiched between the blue-glass fronted corporate offices and spanking new malls of Sarita Vihar, adjoining the imposing Apollo Hospital – does not have a primary health centre. “People go to quacks or to the private doctors for treatment”, said Madan Lal of the “Mobile Creches” – a voluntary organization working for welfare of children of migrant labor. 

Diarrohea, typhoid and respiratory diseases are common among children living at Madanpur Khadar. The 2010 study by the Delhi Forces Neev – a network of organizations working on child-related issues - found 20% children at Madanpur Khadar as being severely malnourished.

Delhi- metamorphosing into a capital of the new world and a city that boasts of the country’s second largest per capita income – has an ugly face tucked away in its innards.

The Delhi government does not have an estimate of the number of poor living in the metropolis. “We have now started the process of identifying the poor”, women and child development minister Dr. Kiran Walia said.

The 'mobile creches' estimates are that more than half of Delhi (64% of the population) is poor – family earnings less than a monthly Rs/4,000.


Even after government's claim of being on the track of a better India, we can barely see changes that should have taken place.
Isn't it?

#Satyam_Bruyat

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Change


Omission of some elements make huge difference, when
removed at right time!!
Politicians removed from a country and religion removed from
humans will solve most of the problems. Maybe!
Particularly India!
# Satyam_Bruyat

Friday, 13 November 2015

Prove me wrong!!


 Looks familiar, isn't it?
Tried to summarise that all of us have seen at one point or the other but silence seems to be the best reply to all these issues. 
The World Bank, in 2011 based on 2005's PPPs International Comparison Program, estimated 23.6% of Indian population, or about 276 million people, lived below $1.25 per day on purchasing power parity.








 If one asks me i would say nothing has changed, only the time has passed.
''Give time some time, it heals everything'', probably not these things.
While we are still stuck at shitty issues like communalism,fascism and what not!! Changes(positive) are negligible and rarely seen.
  According to the National Crime Records Bureau 2013 annual report, 24,923 rape cases were reported across India in 2012, a place where a large number of goddesses are worshiped. Irony!!

Prove me wrong, anyone?
Incredible India!!
“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” 
‪#‎Satyam_Bruyat‬

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Honor killings: Fate of love in India

You don't get to meet a person who's seen honor killing in front of his eyes, openly shares the despondent truth and still feels proud about it.
Recently met a person from my native place, shamefully. What he said was shocking as well as downcast. This is what he said-
"In our village(area) whenever a couple elopes, they are called back by their parents with a promise to get them married and if they return they are reduced to ashes in front of the whole village and that too with the consent of parents and villagers. Further you can't put the whole village behind bars.
The reason being that in future no one dares to bring disgrace to the family and village.''
Partial blame goes towards traditions, religion and the sick mentality. Surely no one would want to be born in such a place.


Love wins!!
Incredible India!!
#Satyam_Bruyat

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Why everyone remains silent?

In Karnataka school, every day she writes in midday meal diary: ‘No one ate today.' 


Every day Radhamma takes out a diary she is required to maintain as part of the mid-day meal scheme in government schools in Karnataka and writes four words, “No one ate today.” Every day for the past five months.
Radhamma is a Scheduled Caste, and the condition that she not make food is the only way she can retain her job of head cook at the Government Higher Primary School in Kagganahalli village in Kolar district of Karnataka. In January 2014, there were 118 students at the school, from Classes I to VIII. Since her appointment in February 2014, 100 have left. The remaining 18 continue on the condition, laid down by their parents, that Radhamma not make the mid-may meal.
It earns her Rs 1,700 per month, but every paisa counts for her family of seven persons belonging to the Adi Karnataka caste.

The only reason being that she's been termed as a dalit. And we've kind enough to let her feel and show where she belongs. Its just one incidence, there are countless. Maybe its our so called ancestral traditions and customs that have kept us bound. Whats the use of such traditions where we can't give respect to fellow human?
Prove me wrong, anyone?
Incredible India!!
I stand with Radhamma and if i get chance i'll surely eat the food she makes.

#Satyam_Bruyat

Monday, 2 November 2015

From deep inside!!


So here I am once again on the topic of rising communal
tensions, particularly between two communities!! Though i
believe in brutal criticism but still one thing that always makes
me feel low is the fake nationalism that people possess.
It hurts when people ask: " So you are from Pakistan, or
associated in any kind"?
My reply is that, I'm an Indian and love this country same as
you do.
I don't love Pakistan as a Muslim, neither i hate Pakistan as an
Indian!!
The world would have been a better place without borders and
hatred, much better!!
One day without hatred and the world would be a much better
place!!
#Satyam_Bruyat

Irom Sharmila: "Iron Lady of Manipur"



    The 42-year-old Manipuri started her fast in 2000, after the death of 10 Manipuris at the hands of the Assam Rifles in Imphal.

    Her only friends are the pair of guinea pigs she has adopted in confinement!

    Also known as the "Iron Lady of Manipur" or "Mengoubi" ("the fair one") is a civil rights activist, political activist, and poet from the Indian state of Manipur. On 2 November 2000, she began a hunger strike which is still ongoing. Having refused food and water for more than 500 weeks.
    She was already involved in local peace movements with regard to human rights abuses in Manipur when, on 2 November 2000, in Malom, a town in the Imphal Valley ofManipur, ten civilians were shot and killed while waiting at a bus stop. The incident, known as the "Malom Massacre", was allegedly committed by the Assam Rifles, one of the Indian Paramilitary forces operating in the state. The victims included Leisangbam Ibetombi, a 62-year-old woman, and 18-year-old Sinam Chandramani, a 1988 National Bravery Award winner.
    Sharmila, who was 28 at the time of Malom Massacre, began to fast in protest.[12] Her primary demand to the Indian government has been the repeal of the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act (AFSPA). She began her fast in Malom on 5 November, and vowed not to eat, drink, comb her hair or look in a mirror until AFSPA was repealed.
    Three days after she began her strike, she was arrested by the police and charged with an "attempt to commit suicide", which was unlawful under the Indian Penal Code (IPC) at that time, and was later transferred to judicial custody. However, Amnesty International and the World Medical Association both dispute that a hunger strike is equivalent to suicide as hunger strikers "generally hope and intend to survive".] Her health deteriorated rapidly, and nasogastric intubation was forced on her from November 21 in order to keep her alive while under arrest.

    By 2004, Sharmila had become an "icon of public resistance." Following her procedural release on 2 October 2006 Irom Sharmila Chanu went to Raj Ghat, New Delhi, which she said was "to pay floral tribute to my ideal, Mahatma Gandhi." Later that evening, Sharmila headed for Jantar Mantar for a protest demonstration where she was joined by students, human rights activists and other concerned citizens. 30 women protested naked in support of Sharmila in front of the Assam Rifles headquarters. They held a banner saying "Indian Army rape us" and all of them were imprisoned for three months.
    This is how Indian judicial system works, where right to expression and those found protesting are put behind bars without even listening to them.

     In November 2013 she gave an interview to NDTV in which she discussed tensions with her organisation, the Just Peace Foundation, in which she claimed that members had made honour killing death threats against her due to her relationship with Desmond Coutinho, a British citizen, and complained that the foundation was preventing her from giving prize money she had been awarded to people or causes she wanted to help.

    I am not a goddess; I can also fall in love: Irom Sharmila

    A historic day went by quietly on Sunday as human rights activist from Manipur, Irom Sharmila, completed 15 years of her hunger strike against the Armed Forces Special Powers Act. The 42-year-old Manipuri started her fast in 2000, after the death of 10 Manipuris at the hands of the Assam Rifles in Imphal. Amnesty International, on Sunday said it was "15 years of the selfless and unparalleled protest".
    Unfortunately, as the solemn gathering recognised, the state does not seem to listen. According to the activists these are the most peaceful times the north eastern states have seen in the recent past. However, "fractured" the Mizo Accord for peace with these groups, it has held for 30 years. Yet, as Amnesty said "despite repeated calls to withdraw the AFSPA from UN experts as well as national and international groups, the Act continues to be enforced and continues to cause flagrant human rights violations."

    Sharmila herself, said Babloo Loitongbam, from Human Rights Alert, is living a legal and political paradox. Her fight, he said, was for the right to live. In her own words, she didn't want to die but live a full life. Yet, she has been charged with attempt to suicide and remanded to judicial custody 365 times; a "ritual" that takes place every 15 days. Loitongbam said that Sharmila wanted "people of prominence" to come to court with her to repeat her arguments.
    The Special Ward at the Jawaharlal Nehru Institute of Medical Sciences in Imphal, Manipur, is cut off from the swirl of chaos that is the life of a hospital. Here, in Room No. 1, 42-year-old Irom Sharmila Chanu, the most recognisable face of this conflict-ridden state in the Northeast, has lived for 14 years.

    The four walls of Sharmila’s room, a bright sea-green that has paled over the years, enclose her entire world. Mementoes of her friendships and love, gifts and letters from her family and supporters, are stacked on overflowing tables, stashed in the sole cupboard or plastered on the walls. A poster of Irish birds of prey and the front page of the Irish Times, on the day Nelson Mandela died, are on the same wall as bright yellow Tweety bird stickers and hand-drawn cards. She has received six letters today. One is from a Frenchwoman, wishing her a happy Halloween in French.

    The others are from her fiancĂ© Desmond Coutinho, a British-Indian of Goan origin. (They fell in love through an exchange of letters.) She doesn’t open them in front of us. “He said he will visit me on my birthday, which is March 14,’’ she says with a shy, half-hidden smile. No videography is allowed in her room and each visitor is permitted no longer than 20 minutes. Though she is allowed visitors thrice a week, her family members or supporters are rarely permitted to meet the “undertrial prisoner”.

    The walls of her room are plastered with posters people have gifted her!

    Solitude fills the days of her life, shapes the hours and flows through the minutes — in the absence of human company, television, phones or internet or even a regular schedule. But she is not lonely, she says. “I have a very busy mind. My thoughts keep me company, they keep me busy,’’ she says.
     Time means absolutely nothing to her, she says, and you look around and see that there is, indeed, not a single clock on the wall. Happiness comes from her pets, a pair of guinea pigs she calls Thoi, (“Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to see if they’re okay. They are my babies.”), the unexpected messages of support from strangers whose lives she has touched with her protest (an Australian woman in Vietnam writes to her regularly, and fasts once every three months in solidarity with her cause).
     Letters from her family and Coutinho, and the many soft toys that he sends her way give her joy. The newest addition to the menagerie is a brown bear. “He told me that he is like a brown bear, so this is to remind me of him,’’ she says with a laugh.

    Who was Sharmila before the protest took over her life? Home was a large compound in Porompat colony in Imphal, where an extended family of 19 members lived. She was the youngest of nine siblings, a loner who stood out from the rest of the riotous gang of brothers, sisters and cousins. She was not a sharp child at school, and gave up her dreams of becoming a doctor when she realised she did not have the “brains” for it. She tried but could not clear her Class XII examinations.


    That fast entered its 15th year this month. Though Sharmila has refused both water and food, the government continues to forcefeed her—and arrests her every year on the charge of attempt to suicide. She is fed Cerelac, juices like Appy, Horlicks and protein shakes—1,600 calories a day. “She refuses to drink water. So when we have to give her tablets or vitamins, they are crushed with her food,’’ says Dr Th Biren, head of the medicine department at JNIMS, and her attending doctor. 
    A team of six doctors checks on Sharmila daily. “We weigh her periodically. Today she weighs 46 kg, the same as last month. It’s extraordinary what she is doing. Medically, you can be fed through the Ryles tube for months even, as we do with patients with strokes. But for 14 years, that’s unimaginable,’’ Dr Biren says.


    In the 14 years of this remarkable, non-violent protest, much has changed in Manipur. The conflict has claimed more lives, found new icons in victims like Thangjam Manorama Devi, and even corroded Sharmila’s close ties with her brother. Though AFSPA was removed from a few parts of Imphal after Manorama’s rape and murder in 2004, the law has remained what it was. Against the implacable indifference of the Indian state, Sharmila continues to pit her iron will.
     “People in India see me as a separatist. But that’s not who I am. I am struggling for India’s integrity too. After the way the army has behaved here, if the government does not agree to repeal AFSPA, India will lose Manipur automatically. The government fears that repealing AFSPA will result in losing Jammu and Kashmir to Pakistan as well. I would like to ask the government: why don’t you try and connect to the hearts of the discontented people?” she says.

    Maybe one or two lives doesn't matter much to the Indian government, maybe!! Pity and shame once again.

    #Satyam_Bruyat